We lost Kathy on April 19, the day before her birthday. It was a long battle after her cancer returned in early 2007 but Kathy’s determination was unwavering and she never complained about the pain, the fatigue and the side effects from years of chemotherapy. We had the good fortune of being able to let her pass at home with the help of an excellent hospice team, a wonderful group of caregivers and the loving care of her cousin Mary in her last days. For all that, I am thankful.
Kathy was my wife, best friend and lover for almost 42 years of marriage. I miss her deeply but the positive memories are beginning to prevail over the challenges of the last few years. The image that is most present with me now is her wild, curly hair blowing in the breeze as we did our marathon training runs in San Francisco in the 1990’s. The determination she exhibited then was present right up to the end.
I’m entering a new landscape without Kathy. It feels odd without her but, as Mary said, the dogs and I must simply get up each morning and put one paw in front of the other. We are soldiering on. Each day is a little easier than last but the void remains.
We are quickly approaching the five year anniversary of our arrival in Santa Fe (March 16, 2006). It appears we have adapted to the cold but sunny winters and fallen victim to the ‘Land of Entrapment’. I’m not terribly surprised that we are still here, just amazed at how quickly five years can disappear. I think we’ll stay awhile longer…;-).
2010 was a challenging year on the personal front. Kathy terminated treatment for her metastatic breast cancer since the chemotherapy was no longer working. The disease continues to progress with her treatment now focused on pain management and optimizing her quality of life. We have some travel planned over the next few months including a couple weeks in San Francisco in February and a week on an island in French Polynesia in March. A friend and neighbor here in Santa Fe recently took on the role of General Manager of the lovely Te Tiare beach resort and offered us a really great rate that makes if almost affordable.
I continue bootstrapping my latest startup, veloGraf Systems, as the chief (and only) developer of the front-end application while my young partner develops the more difficult back-end API service. I never expected to become a Ruby on Rails coder at my age but the development is moving along albeit more slowly than I had hoped. I find the complexity of modern application frameworks harder to absorb than I expected. Probably an age thing but I’m pretending it’s the software. If all goes well, early February should see the launch of the first phase of our social graph management service. It’s a consumer-focused service rather than the enterprise software product outlined in our rather dated web site.
I started thinking about posting an update to our web site before the holidays. It has been over three years since I posted anything (just after construction started on our new house) and over four years since I started this “journal” to chronicle our travels to find a new home. Rather surprising to realize we are in the middle of our fourth Santa Fe winter, we built a house (I was the general contractor on our EcoNest) and I have already launched two high-tech startups. I’m winding down the first one (Knowledge Reef Systems) and my partner and I are ramping up veloGraf Systems as we speak.
Before posting, I decided that I really should take a couple of hours to “refactor” the web site to a blog form. Much easier to update and gets me out of coding HTML. Unfortunately, a few hours became most of Sunday evening and the better part of today. I am so bad at estimating projects, especially when it includes coming up to speed on new technology. But it’s done. Now all I need to do is backtrack over the last two years to fill in some of the gaps. Soon. At least it will be quick and easy to make posts. No excuse now…
On March 16 2006, we arrived in Santa Fe after spending a miserably wet winter in the San Francisco Bay Area. We quickly located a temporary rental house and began searching for land to build a home. Over the course of three months we looked at over 50 pieces of property ranging from over-priced lots in marginal areas near town to a charming six-acre piece of land on the Pecos River in the Anton Chico land grant. By early June, we had settled on a small parcel southeast of town with a killer view to the southwest. We dodged a bullet when the deal fell through because of a pending lawsuit by the title company since the building challenges would have been expensive to overcome. Our alternative turned out to be the right piece of property and the next stage of our journey is chronicled in the EcoNest section of our Web site.
It’s been a roller coaster ride over the last two years but we have absolutely no regrets about our decision to make our new life in Santa Fe. Even after six short months, it feels like home. Someone I met recently referred to New Mexico as the ‘Land of Entrapment’ (versus the official state motto — Land of Enchantment) and we have definitely been captured. The journey continues. After we finish building our house, I need to explore gainful employment again since I’m certainly not ready to retire.
Christmas may seem a rather odd day to make a journal entry but holidays are always quiet for us and it seems a good way to use the down time (last week was busy — see Paremus). After four months on the road, we’re back in the San Francisco Bay Area. Kathy was scheduled for a round of visitors with her doctors last week and routine follow up tests over the next two weeks. Quite comprehensive with a PET scan ordered by the chemotherapy oncologist while her surgeon prefers an MRI and a mammogram. She is feeling good and we anticipate positive outcomes from the tests.
We decided to put down stakes for several months both because I need to focus on raising venture capital for Paremus and RV travel in the West is somewhat limited in the winter unless you like Palm Springs, Phoenix or Tucson. Our opinion ranged from ‘yuck’ with respect to Palm Springs — see comments below — to ‘not-our-cup-of-tea’ for much of Arizona. If we leaned a bit more to the ‘roughing it’ style of trailer life (limited hookups, no WiFi, no cell service), we probably could have found something interesting in southern Arizona or New Mexico. However, we still like being connected.
We have parked the Airstream and taken a short-term apartment in San Rafael for a few weeks. We plan to rent a house for the next 4-5 months on the Peninsula while I chase venture capitalists and go back to work full-time with Paremus. After that, our plans a really depend on the outcome of my fund-raising efforts. We could end up in London as I mentioned in an early journal entry if the lead VCs are UK-based but it’s too soon to declare definitively where we will be mid-year. That said, we do plan to end up in Santa Fe at some time, maybe as early as May where Kathy will live while I long-distance commute to Paremus’ corporate offices. All very much TBD.
What have we learned on our four-month, 15,000-mile, 11-state odyssey?
- We really can live small and simple. While it’s nice to spread out in a two-bedroom apartment, it seems absolutely spacious after living comfortably in a 25′ travel trailer and a large house would seem extravagant. When it’s time to build our house, we will definitely rely on ‘small-is-beautiful’ design principles.
- We are definitely not ‘RV people’. The act, even some of the rituals, of traveling with your home behind you is enjoyable and offer opportunities to do things and visit places you simply can’t do otherwise. Ultimately you need to stop to hook up to civilized comforts such as water, electricity and waste disposal. With rare exceptions, such as remote state parks like Oliver Lee in New Mexico or Balmorhea in Texas, most RV parks are either depressing or odd. Even the luxury RV park in Palm Springs with the golf course didn’t quite feel right. ‘Real RVers’ love them and park their rigs in these places for months on end. For us, RV parks are necessary evils. A place to stop, empty the tanks, do the laundry and replenish the larder before we move on. Will we travel with our Airstream again? Absolutely. Difficult to say when but we do plan to explore the rest of the US and Canada someday and re-visit many of the places we enjoyed in the West.
- As much as we have enjoyed living in San Francisco for the last 15 years and the Bay Area for over 21 years, it’s time to move on. It may be the gray, winter weather we are currently experiencing, perhaps the abysmal traffic or simply boredom with having lived in the same place for so long. I would guess it’s all of the above with the added desire for a bit of adventure. Moving to Santa Fe, London or even New York City (Paremus is focused on financial services) may be considered mundane by many but we find the thought of a new location rather exciting. Of course, as often happens with the best-laid plans, they may go awry and we’ll find ourselves settling down again in the Bay Area.
A few final closing notes about some interesting (good and bad) places we visited:
- Bisbee, AZ: An odd little town next to a humongous open out mine that was closed 30 years ago. Charming in some respects but also depressing. Hasn’t made the real breakthrough as a high-end tourist stop. Hard to do so with a butt-ugly hole in the ground and huge piles of mining tailings. We did stay at a funky ‘trailer park’, the Shady Dell, with a collection of old aluminum trailers used as motel rooms. Not on the list but a fun place to visit.
- Santa Fe, NM: Of all the places we visited, this seemed closest to a place we could seriously call home. Big skies, lots of sunshine, relaxed, manageable traffic, reasonable real estate prices. A tourist town, of course, but not obnoxiously so and very few ‘day-trippers’ that you find in Carmel. Cold in the winter. We need to determine if we are confirmed California ‘weather wimps’ or we can adjust to winter evenings with temperatures in the low double digits.
- Taos, NM: Also an interesting little town. ‘Crunchier’ than Santa Fe and more remote. We like areas where piñon and juniper are the dominant vegetation. It’s on the list.
- Marfa, TX: Charming little town in West Texas routinely covered by the NY Times. Quiet when we stopped for coffee. Surrounded by “miles and miles of Texas” as the Bob Wills song goes. Too remote to live in Marfa permanently since the nearest town is El Paso which has no obvious redeeming characteristics.
- Palm Springs, CA: This whole area is on another planet. Completely lacking any character. Why do old people voluntarily barricade themselves behind gated walls in mind-numbingly boring, look-alike communities? I guess it’s the golf …
- Southwest, USA: Absolutely grand, breathtaking vistas and stunning landscape diminished by the relentless encroachment of suburban sprawl everywhere. I suppose it’s a basic American right to be able to buy cheap, Chinese-made products in thoroughly unattractive stores but the ‘soft’ cost is high. Not only is there the well-understood economic displacement but the visual pollution is disheartening when the first thing you see approaching a small town is the soulless Wal-Mart box. Globalization. It’s hard to rant and rave against it when a large part of your working life has been marketing and selling products to ‘global’ enterprises but the downside becomes very real when you see the impacts firsthand. Off soapbox.
I added several pics of the Shady Dell RV Park in Bisbee, Arizona, the saguaro cactus outside Tucson and Joshua trees near Palm Springs. As we headed back to California, we began to find ourselves in less scenic places and the urge to snap a few shots diminished.
After almost three months of living life as nomads, we can reasonably conclude there are two types of people who inhabit RVs — serious travelers and those who can’t seem to resist putting down roots, even on a temporary basis. The latter will journey a few hundred miles from home and then park their expensive RVs for weeks. I can only hypothesize at what motivates them but running from below zero weather in Bemidji, Minnesota, seems a reasonable guess for many. I’m not certain I would stake out a claim in a shabby RV park in East Jesus, Texas, with my million dollar motor home but it must work for them. The couple from Dallas with a new Liberty Coach (probably $1.5 million) that had been parked for two months 325 miles from home struck me as odd but they seemed happy.
And then there are the rest of us. A couple of days in one place and we start to get the RV equivalent of ‘cabin fever’. The laundry is done, the larder is full of granola, oat bran and tofu, the refrigerator stocked with fresh vegetables and absolute boredom has set in. Once we decide to move on, there is almost a child-like, Christmas-morning sense of anticipation about rising early and going through the ritual of ‘hitching up’ and hitting the road. After the familiar drill — empty the waste tanks, disconnect the hoses and cables, put away the awning, raise the stabilizers, hitch up to the truck, hook up the equalizers and sway bar, attach the safety chains and electrical umbilical cord, check the lights, do a final check (Kathy handles the inside preparations for travel) — it’s extremely satisfying to pull away from the site and begin the journey to another destination we haven’t visited or one we are looking forward to seeing again. The process sounds rather tedious but we continue to enjoy this part of RV life after having done this 35-40 times in the last three months. It may seem as trite as ‘Travels with Charlie‘ but there is something uniquely American about this desire to see what is around the next bend and over the next hill. I’ll leave it to the social scientists to explain but it certainly keeps us interested.